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Professional News Articles : : ON PRACTICE MANAGEMENT by Janyce Hamilton : The un-resolution: A goal-free life

The un-resolution: A goal-free life

January 06, 2006

This is the first January I am not making any plans. Not thinner, richer, smarter, better. Not more organized. Nothing. It's my intention anyway. Sure, there's that idea about jogging every morning before the kid wakes up, but let's just say I'm not doing it.

Great.

So why do I feel so bad?

If you are like me and most Americans, you are enchanted by the lure of self-improvement. Failing to keep your promise of exercising and eating green, yellow and orange-red vegetables daily, you get that familiar feeling: an “L” on the forehead (loser).

Then Stephen Shapiro's book Goal-Free Living calls you from the bookshelf at the store.

“Psst, loser. . . pick me up, and find new truths.”

Now books are talking to me.

Shapiro, who has a bachelor's degree in Industrial Engineering from Cornell University, gets a lot done for someone not fond of goals. He is the president of The 24/7 Innovation Group in Boston. Before that, he spent 15 years at Accenture, founded and led that firm's Process Excellence Practice.He has been featured in numerous newspapers and magazines, including Investors Business Daily. 

Shapiro talked to me about his unique approach to life, and I began to see the err of my ways. Below, is a transcript of our conversation.

Janyce Hamilton (JH): Where did you learn to write?

Stephen Shapiro: Experientially!

JH: Why a book on living goal-free? 

Mr. Shapiro: Originally this was going to be a sequel to my first book, 24/7 Innovation. Starting June 2003, I drove 12,000 miles and interviewed 150 creative individuals. What I found was that the most creative and passionate people lived a life free from the burden of goals. The trip itself—completely unplanned and spontaneous—is also a great metaphor (and inspiration) for Goal-Free Living.

JH: Tell me about the premise of the book?

Mr. Shapiro: Our achievement-oriented society has hijacked our happiness. People have let their goals take control of their life. Rather than enjoy life now, they believe that happiness is only around the corner—when they achieve their goals. But, according to a survey of mine, nearly half of the country gets disappointed when they achieve their goals because it doesn't give them the satisfaction they expected. And if you fail to achieve your goal, well, you can only imagine how you feel then.

JH: How are Americans addicted to a goal-oriented structure, and how do you know this is not so good?

Mr. Shapiro: It's driven into our psyche from the time we are born. It is even worse today. Parents are worried about getting their child into the right school even while the baby is still in the mother's womb. Society has told us that we must be successful and make lots of money. But this rarely leads to true happiness. 76% of the population says that although they are successful, something is missing from their life. 53% feel that they are living their lives in a way that satisfies others more than themselves.

JH: I cannot wrap my brain around how to get organized, take inventory/stock, and plan work and change without making lists of goals. How does goal-free living mesh with getting things done—or doesn't it?

Mr. Shapiro: Are you getting things done to check them off of your list? Or are you doing them because they truly give you pleasure. We get so caught up in what we are supposed to do that we forget to enjoy life. Instead of “to-do” lists, I use “could do” lists. This keeps possibility in front of me. My could-do lists are a source of excitement. My to-do lists tend to be my source of stress. I really think it is simple.If you enjoy each and every day, what you accomplish in the end doesn't really matter.

JH: In New Year's resolution mode, we have joined health clubs,thrown away the holiday cookie tins, and sworn off sodas, spiked and otherwise. As we are just starting off, we enjoy that feeling of hopefulness about our renewed self-commitments. But is part of your premise that failure and disappointment are inevitable from setting goals year after year?

Mr. Shapiro: According to a survey of mine, 92% of Americans fail to achieve their resolutions. That's depressing enough. Regardless, I think the bigger issue is when you focus on your specific and measurable goals, you become myopic. You miss other—unpredictable and even greater—opportunities. Instead of resolutions, I encourage one-word themes. These are broad and empowering. My word for 2006 is “impact.” For others it may be service, adventure, new beginnings or passion. It doesn't really matter, as long as it gets you pumped up.

JH: I'm still struggling with the ‘how to' aspect of being goal-less, if that makes any sense. Is there a year-long, month-by-month story of how a successful small business owner can thrive using a goal-less lifestyle?

Mr. Shapiro: Goal-Free Living is more of a personal philosophy than a business methodology. Organizations do need goals. But, goals can also prevent true success when running a small business. What if you are setting the wrong goals? As Einstein once said, “If I were given one hour to save the planet, I would spend 59 minutes defining the problem and one minute resolving it.” The problem with a goal-oriented business is that it tends to spend 1 minute defining the problem (and associated goals/objectives) and 59 minutes finding solutions. When I work through the creative process with organizations, I get them to spend more time finding the right opportunities rather than chasing problems they think need to be solved. The key isn't to ditch goals, but rather oscillate in and out of goals. I do this all of the time in my business. I keep adding to my could-do list. Then, I pick things off, one at a time, and do them. I then lift my head back up and look at what is next. I am always seeking new opportunities. There is no typical 12-month story.

JH: Your book's philosophy of don't plan anything to be living your best life is perplexingly the buzz in magazines full of goal-oriented articles telling us what to try that's new, get rid of, and plan in “5 Easy Steps.” Can I utilize your approach and feel I'm accomplishing something or is that an oxymoron?

Mr. Shapiro: I am convinced that when living goal-free, you actually achieve more, because you tend to play bigger and allow for unpredictable things to enter into your life. I distinguish goals from aspirations. The word “goal” comes from the Old English word for barriers, obstacles, and hindrances. Hard work. Pushing. The word “aspiration” comes from the same Latin word as “inspire” and “spirit” and means “to breathe life into.” I encourage big and bold aspirations. Something that calls you forward (a pull) that is not a destination. It is about playing fully. Numerous studies have shown that the more you follow your bliss, the more likely you are to achieve more and be successful. Regardless, you will certainly enjoy the journey.

JH: What are the traits of the most successful people? 

Mr. Shapiro: There are many. I'll use three of my “secrets” from the book to answer this. 1) “Become a people magnet”—attract people into your life. Success (and pleasure) can only be accomplished with the help of others. 2) “Seek out adventure”—Expertise is the enemy of creativity. You need lots of new experiences.This is the fuel for new ideas, and success. 3) “Remain detached”—Be committed to the process, not the outcome. When you try too hard, you inevitably fail.

JH: You contend that most people's goals aren't their own, they are society's, which has me questioning whether my goals are my own. If not, whose life am I living?

Mr. Shapiro: As mentioned earlier, more than half of the population acknowledges that they are not living the life they want. They are being “responsible and mature” because this is what is expected. We are so busy running on the treadmill chasing our goals that sometimes we forget to slow down, breathe (aspire), and take stock of our lives. According to my surveys, most people are not really happy. And sometimes they are not sure what it takes to make them happy. They think that sitting in a training class will help them discover their real passion. That can't happen. You have to experience it, which leads to …

JH: . . . “meandering with purpose?

Mr. Shapiro: Yes. The first secret in the book is “Use a compass, not a map.” Have a sense of direction in your life—not a destination or goal—and then let everything unfold. Don't plan it. Maps are great for efficiency. Life is about exuberance, and you can't map out passion. Meandering with purpose is about finding your compass setting and then setting sail. Trying new things. Do more of what you like, and less of what you don't like. Use your passion as your barometer. Don't worry about where you end up or how fast you are going. Along the way, you will discover new interests. Things you could never have predicted.

JH: How can we detox from our glued-on goals? I mean, first would I need to recognize them, detach, and go through a trial separation, or what? 

Mr. Shapiro: I'm not saying to get rid of all of your goals. And some people love their goals and they truly make them happy. But if you feel a bit constrained by your goals, maybe it is time to loosen the grip, at least a little. Some simple first steps:

For 2006, choose a theme, not a resolution.

Try new things. Get in action. Don't worry about where they may take you.

If you attend a business conference, don't worry about what you will get out of it and how you will use it.Just be there and soak in as much as possible.

If you go on a vacation, instead of planning every minute of every day, try adventuring out into an area not in your guide book.

Stop intellectualizing everything. With some of your smaller decisions, use your gut instinct. And don't look back once you make a decision

Ask yourself, on a scale from 1–10, how happy you are with your life. If it is not 10, you may think something is missing. But rather than look there, take stock of the great things in your life. As is the name with one of the secrets, “Want what you have.”

JH: And if I can't do it?

Mr. Shapiro: This shouldn't be difficult. In fact, it is quite easy. Some people call Goal-Free Living counter-intuitive. I actually think it is quite intuitive. If you feel you are suffering but aren't willing to change your life, I suspect you are getting something from your suffering, whether it be the right to complain, the feeling of being a martyr, the right to make others feel guilty (for sacrificing your life for them), a feeling of superiority.

JH: Last words?

Mr. Shapiro: I am reminded of a conversation with a business client of mine. He works in a major corporation. He has grand visions of what to do next. He has been laying the groundwork for this new venture. And when everything was ready, he still did not make the leap. He suggested that maybe I should give him a push. I said that that is the problem. You do not need to push your way into the future. It should pull you. If the future does not pull you forward enough, the past (your current situation) will pull you back. Play big and bold. There is no right or wrong. Don't wait until retirement to be happy. Just live life NOW!

On an overcast New Year's day, I took a long walk in the woods instead of jogging on a treadmill. During the hike, I discovered a 6-inch mollusk half shell and a rotten baseball bat. The inner side of the shell reflects a rainbow patina. The bat must be more than 20 years old to be etched with hieroglyphics of ant colonies.

Losing 20 pounds can't compete.

The 24/7 Innovation Group helps organizations increase the creative potential by creating cultures of innovation. This is accomplished through workshops, keynote speeches, and advisory work. Mr. Shapiro's latest venture is Goal-Free Living, helping people (through books, speeches, and coaching) improve the quality of their life. Mr. Shapiro can be reached at steve@goalfree.com or in his office at (617)479-1682. Goal-Free Living: How to Have the Life You Want NOW! can be purchased at http://www.amazon.com and in bookstores nationwide. If you would like to meet Mr. Shapiro, he is currently touring the country, giving speeches, participating in media events, and conducting book signings. Learn more at http://www.goalfree.com/

Janyce Hamilton is a Chicagoland freelance dental writer and editor. If you have a suggestion for topics to be covered, or any comments on this column, drop us a line, review@cds.org.

Copyright 2006, Chicago Dental Society